Say It So It Lands: Feedback That Fuels, Not Fractures

Giving feedback isn’t an optional communication tool for any leader or manager. Done well, it fuels engagement, retention, and profit. Done badly, it drains motivation and drives staff turnover, costing both time and money.

The Link Between Feedback And The Bottom Line

Evidence abounds of that feedback fuels employee engagement – and engagement drives performance. Gallup conducted multiple meta-analyses (notably in 2002, 2013, and 2020), noting that teams with high engagement see 21% higher profitability and 17% higher productivity.

Disengagement, on the other hand, comes with a brutal price tag:

• The price of disengaged staff: According to a report by McKinsey (2023) disengagement costs a median S&P 500 company $1.1 billion over 5 years

And if you need to replace an under-performer, the costs are eye-watering.

• Staff turnover costs: a Gallup study found that staff turnover costs range from 50% to 200% of annual salary per role of the individual’s annual salary depending on the role level.

Yet, many managers either give feedback poorly or avoid it altogether.

One manager I worked for managed to avoid feedback to any of the team. Our results would justify the pay rise that might have taken us to living wages so he sidestepped the process completely. I later discovered that the CEO would brag at board meetings about being able to keep “real talent on very low wages”. She ignored that fact that staff turnover was through the roof: a time-consuming and expensive consequence of their conversation-dodge policy.

A lack of feedback – or feedback given badly – is operational as well as emotional. When it’s absent or handled badly, motivation tanks, performance stalls and staff turnover spikes. It’s a drain on talent, time and profit.

Badly Delivered Feedback Backfires

This study by Rogito and Makabe, 2023, focusing on collective research of feedback skills, unearthed what happens when feedback is done badly:

• Decreased motivation and engagement: Vague or overly critical feedback demoralises employees, making them less likely to invest effort or initiative.
• Reduced job satisfaction: When feedback feels unhelpful or hostile, employees may disengage emotionally from their roles.
• Increased staff turnover: Poor feedback practices, especially public shaming or lack of follow-up, can drive employees to leave, costing organisations time and talent.
• Damaged manager-employee relationships: Feedback delivered with judgement or without empathy erodes trust, making future collaboration harder.
• Communication breakdown: Ineffective feedback creates confusion about expectations, leading to misalignment and missed opportunities for growth.

Well Delivered Feedback Drives Performance

• Increased motivation and engagement: Specific, timely feedback energises employees by affirming their strengths and guiding their growth, making them more likely to take initiative and invest effort.
• Improved job satisfaction: When feedback is constructive and respectful, employees feel valued and supported, deepening their emotional connection to their role and the organisation.
• Higher retention rates: Feedback that reinforces progress and offers clear development paths helps employees envision a future within the organisation, reducing the desire to seek opportunities elsewhere.
• Stronger manager-employee relationships: Feedback delivered with empathy and clarity builds trust, signaling that managers are invested in their team’s success and open to dialogue.
• Enhanced communication and alignment: Effective feedback clarifies expectations, aligns goals, and fosters a shared language for growth – minimising confusion and maximising collaboration.

Go For Regular Feedback – and make it fast

Reviewing your team’s progress and sticking points can’t wait until the quarterly or annual review. Business moves too fast for that and it’s easy to become demotivated with constant fluctuations and challenges.  According to Gallup data, employees are nearly four times more likely to strongly agree that their motivation to do outstanding work rockets when their manager provides daily – as opposed to annual – feedback. So how do you give that feedback easily and regularly without a one-hour review and five-page report to write up at 3am?

You drop that feedback into a conversation, like a conversational pipette into a glass of water.

Fast Feedback Formula – Example One:

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1. Pinpoint a specific behaviour that’s positive: “Thanks for spotting an issue with the system performance.
2. Add its impact:  For example: Although not a priority today, it’s necessary to keep track of this regularly. 
3. Say what you need now: “Right now, I need you to focus on the business product. That’s the priority.”
4. Link it to its impact: “This will mean we’ll be able to deliver the system earlier for the business side. Big differences, sooner.”
5. Suggest a next step to make it tangible and observable. “Please measure the current system performance to see if it’s ready for release today.”
6. Drop it into the conversation like a pipette. Done. See above.

Fast Feedback Example – Example Two:

1. Pinpoint a specific behaviour that’s positive: “I really appreciated how you all built on each other’s ideas today – especially how Priya’s question about user flow sparked that whole thread on onboarding friction.”
2. Add its impact: “That kind of collaborative exchange is exactly what helps us to pinpoint blind spots early.”
3. Say what you need now: “Next time, let’s capture those sparks in a shared doc as we go.”
4. Link it to impact: “Then we can keep track of actions.”
5. Suggest a next step to make it tangible and observable: “Des, can you share a Google Link for the shared doc?”
6. Drop it into the conversation like a pipette. Done. See above.

Fast Feedback Advantages:

• Minimises ‘Difficult Conversations’: Managers decrease the possibility of ‘challenging interactions’, steering behaviours before they become significant issues.
• Retains and develops talent: fast feedback results in developing ideas, talent and – in the longer term – succession planning.
• Supports agility: business and tech moves at breakneck speed. Fast and frequent feedback helps your people to navigate the rapid twists and turns.

The Four Principles for Feedback

Before I detail the differences between good and bad feedback, there are four main tenets that make it effective.

1. Start with strengths
2. Use specific examples
3. Offer actionable suggestions
4. Follow up to reinforce change

Effective Feedback – The Dos and Don’ts

Giving feedback isn’t about delivering a verdict. When done well it’s about clearer communication, better business outcomes and stronger employee relationships. But too often, feedback feels like a slap disguised as a handshake. So let’s fix that.

Here’s your guide to feedback that lands with clarity – without the collateral damage.

1. Timing is everything

Immediate feedback isn’t always wise.

❌ Don’t add critique to a panic spiral or shame by calling someone out in front of others.

✅ Wait until the dust settles. Then discuss.

2. First, fix the furniture

Before you speak, check your positioning. Literally.

❌ Don’t sit opposite them. It feels like a courtroom.

✅ Sit side-by-side or at a 90-degree angle. It signals collaboration, not confrontation.

3. Make the feedback into a dialogue

❌ Don’t launch in with “I’d like a word.”

✅ Ask open questions, such as:

1. 1. 1. “How are you getting on?”
      2. “What do you think went well?”
      3. “What do you think could be done differently?”
      4. “What could be further improved?”
      5. “How can this be achieved?”

In combination with techniques such as matching to build rapport, you’ll find that your team member will offer up their own challenges, saving you the pain of having to do it yourself.

Questions invite a non-judgemental, psychologically safe structure for feedback, encouraging self-directed learning and ownership in a collaborative manner.  Findings from an Oxford Academics workplace feedback study emphasise the importance involving the recipient in the process of setting expectations. The study found that such feedback is likelier to be accepted, internalised and acted upon than passively receiving a critique.

4. Deliver written feedback like a slow reveal

❌Don’t show the whole platter at once. The eyes tend to jump ahead and the feedback recipient will rapidly become more defensive.

✅ Reveal point by point in a slow reveal.

5. Start with the positives

❌Avoid going straight in with a blame bucket.

✅Notice what’s working, for example:

1. 1. 1. They’re trying.
      2. They care.
      3. They pay attention to detail (be specific).

Studies reveal that feedback which recognises the positive is more likely to transform  any negatives.

6. Be precise on the behaviour, as opposed to vague or unspecific

Note too that generalisations are the enemy of growth.

❌ “You always…” / “You never…”

✅ Be specific: “Here’s what I observed in these situations…”

7. Be outcome focused

❌Emphasise desired behaviours

✅Don’t get stuck in a blame game

Research shows that feedback delivered with an emphasis on strengths and future improvement not only neutralises defensiveness but also boost the individual’s performance. This results in significantly higher performance. This statement acts as a scaffold for you to achieve this with reports:

“If you do it [this specific way], we’ll see [insert benefit].”

8. Depersonalise when it’s sensitive

❌Don’t call out individuals in front of others for unwanted behaviours or under-performance.

✅ Make it a group talk.

✅ Keep the door open: “If anyone wants to speak about this, please do…”

9. Assume good intent – even when the behaviour’s off

❌Avoid putting them on the defensive by implying wilfully errant actions.

✅Allow people to save face and lower defensiveness by assuming a misjudged but reasonable aim.

Example: They disclosed sensitive info to a client. You could go ballistic. But they’ll just dig in. Instead:

“You told Nigel because you wanted to keep him in the loop. But here’s what happened…”

Remember to keep the feedback future-facing so you’re not trapped in a blame game. For example, be clear on what might be considered confidential to avoid this happening again.

10. Follow up or fade out

❌Don’t assume the feedback is a one-and-done.

✅ Check progress in a follow-up dialogue

✅ Reinforce the good stuff. It’s how you get more of it.

How To Reinforce Non-Negotiables

Sometimes, managers need to be more directive. It’s not a request, an act that can be negotiated. You may need to tell, not ask.

1. Story: “It was hard for me too. I did this thing – it helped.” Here’s a simple structure to convey an anecdote.
2. Loss/Gain: “You’ll avoid Nick breathing down your neck / gain extra time.”
3. Quid Pro Quo: Call in the power of reciprocity with “You do this for me because I’m doing this for you.”
4. It’s Life: “Honestly, it’s worse elsewhere.”
5. Rationale: “It’s like this because…”

Here’s another approach to being directive.

Giving Feedback – What To Do And What To Avoid: Summary

Your Action:

1. Identify someone you need to whom feedback would be beneficial. Remember if they’re doing well, tell them exactly what it is. That way it’s more likely to be sustained.

If there are areas of development, make that clear too, making the feedback focused on desired results.

1. Need to be more directive? This week could you be your time.

Feedback done well is more than a course correct or a back-patting exercise. It builds trust and fuels growth both on an individual and organisational level.

Need techniques to communicate up, down and sideways? I customise the right ones for you in my communications skills training. Whether you need that or to sharpen conversational skills, that’s where I help technical leaders and their teams.

Contact me, Frankie Kemp for a 15-minute, no strings attached, Discovery Call. No commitment, just a chat to see if we can work together.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev at pexels.com