How You Learn Is How You Communicate: The Overlooked Skill Every Professional Needs

Clicking with someone shouldn’t be down to luck especially when your communication skills depend on persuasion and influence.

When I joined Lee Levitt on Thoughts on Selling, we unpacked a learning framework that transfers beautifully into communication – especially when winning people over and selling ideas is part of your role.

And before you insist you’re not in Sales, I won’t argue with your lanyard. But whether you’re an MSL in Pharma or a software engineer guiding a client through an AI intervention, you’re still relying on interpersonal communication skills to influence outcomes.

That’s where the VAK framework comes in. It’s about subtle language shifts: tiny cues you sprinkle lightly into conversation that make connection easier. You’ll

This post goes beyond VAK as a communication methodology. It’s also about how you learn, how you pick up information, and why some things land instantly while others drift straight past.

If conferences float over your head;

If podcasts only make sense when you’re walking;

If directions only click once you see them…

then VAK is your guide to how you learn, how you take in what people say, and how your build rapport with others.

The Three Styles Of Learning (And Communication)

Most people have a blend of auditory, visual, and kinaesthetic tendencies. But one usually leads. Your leading style shapes the way you describe problems, the cues you respond to and even the likeability of those with whom you’re  interacting.

1. Auditory: “That sounds great.”

Those who lead with an Auditory Style, prefer a world of tone, rhythm, and verbal nuance. They’re the ones who can hear a song once and hum it back. They often work comfortably on the phone. And their language gives them away:

• “That rings a bell.”
• “We’re in tune.”
• “That sounds right to me.”

If you’re speaking to someone like this, matching their language builds rapport faster than any slide deck ever could.

2. Visual: “I see what you mean.”

You may have a leaning toward visual processing and need to picture concepts. There’s a need to map the idea, not just hear it.

You’ll hear:

• “I get the picture.”
• “That looks fantastic.”
• “Let me visualise this.”

These are the people who glaze over when you give verbal directions. Show them a map and they’re instantly oriented.

3. Kinaesthetic: “It feels right.”

Kinaesthetic learners understand through movement, sensation, and doing. They’re the ones turning their phone around on a street corner because the blue Google Maps dot is pointing the wrong way. They learn more slowly at first, but once something lands, it’s in the bones.

Their language is tactile and emotional:

• “That feels great.”
• “I’m getting a sense of it.”
• “Let me try it.”

Kinaesthetic people often thrive at the top of organisations — and at the fringes. They’re doers, movers, experimenters.

Note that children who learn kineasthetically are often marginalised in the education system as ‘remedial’ or mis-diagnosed with ADHD, when they, in fact, learn through experience and application, rather than theory.

The VAK Link To Communication

Because learning style isn’t just about learning. It’s about connection.

When you match someone’s natural processing style – especially their language – you create a sense of ease. A sense of “you get me.” And that’s the foundation of trust.

One small example:

I once worked with a woman raising funds for a charity. Our first conversation was perfectly civil, but something didn’t quite dovetail. There was no disagreement or friction, just an unsettling lack of ‘click’.

Then I remembered: she works primarily on the phone. Therefore, it was likely she was auditory in her communication style. So before our next call, I jotted down a few auditory phrases:

• “It sounds like you were having a tough time.”
• “What you said really chimed with me.”

Within minutes she said, “Oh my gosh! You absolutely get it.”

I’d only added two auditory phrases in the first minute and had the conversation on the phone – where she seemed more comfortable. Nothing else had changed.

Note that that language didn’t come naturally to me as I’m a combination of Visual and Kineasthetic, but writing it down – my visual preference manifesting again – meant that I could integrate these phrases naturally in the conversation.

It doesn’t take much.

Watch me talking about learning styles at 16 mins 16 seconds. I’m in discussion here with Lee Levitt in his ‘Thoughts on Selling Podcast’. It’s such a rich conversation that bolted from cultural adaptability to why bullet points don’t cut it (and what does!)

The video with all the topic timestamps is here.

“But What About Groups? You Can’t Customise for Everyone”

Exactly. And you don’t need to.

When you’re presenting to a room, whether it’s a sales pitch, a team meeting, or a keynote, you hedge your bets by engaging all three styles:

• Auditory: your voice, your phrasing, your stories
• Visual: images, diagrams, or simply vivid descriptions
• Kinaesthetic: getting people to do something, even briefly e.g. respond to a question or give a quick exercise

If you rely only on slides and abstract numbers, you’ll lose a huge portion of the room. Especially the kinaesthetic thinkers, who, ironically, are often the decision‑makers.

Our Flexibility Advantage

People aren’t fixed. We’re not stone. We’re clay. Roles shape us. Parenthood shapes us. Environments shape us. Someone who starts out highly visual may become more auditory if they spend years on the phone. A logical thinker may become more feeling‑focused when they have children.

That means as much as you can adapt, others can also change.

The Bottom Line

The VAK is about tuning your communication so the other person can actually receive it.

That’s competitive advantage at work.

If you can hear the difference between “that looks good,” “that sounds good,” and “that feels good,” you’re already halfway to rapport, and rapport smooths the way to winning over others and gaining buy-in to your ideas.

Your Action

1. Download this interactive questionnaire to find your own preferred style: this will help you to determine both how you learn and your communication preferences as well as give an insight into how others interact and learn.
2. Now that you’ve determined your preference(s), observe those with whom you click with. What do you notice about their style?
3. Is there someone at work with whom you may have a rapport issue?  Could that be down to how they communicate? If so, find a small way you might adapt before you next communicate with them.

Communication Skills can help you increase your influence and skills of persuasion. If that’s what you’re looking to bolster, here’s how I can work with you or your people. Prefer a free 15-minute Discovery Call? Book yours here.