Invoking Identity to Influence Others: are they who they say they are?
Frankie Kemp
7 August 2025
Influence that lands isn’t always about logic – it’s also about identity.
Who we are and how we act is less important than who we think we are and how we act.
Knowing that principle will give you an angle on using your influence skills in steering action, stepping up team performance and managing others.
In influence contexts, plugging into someone desired self-image provokes identity-level engagement—people ask themselves, “Yes, I am the kind of person who acts in this way.”
Persuasion that incorporates how other like to see themselves triggers the self-consistency bias. This is based on the fact that people want to act in ways that align with their own self-image.
Hence, stating, “Are we the kind of team that tails last? I don’t think so.” Invokes a sense of collective pride in being ‘the winning team’ – if that’s how they already see themselves.
Why this Works
- Identity is magnetic: people defend it, perform it, and evolve it.
- Influence that speaks to identity bypasses defensiveness.
- Identity mirrors the person’s stated values—but shows where they’re out of alignment.
When this doesn’t work:
This paper explores the relationship between identity and motivation and discovered that:
“Overall outcomes suggested that identity influences behaviour indirectly through intention strength, rather than directly as a post-intention mechanism.”
In other words, the study found that identity doesn’t directly cause behaviour after someone has already made a decision.
Identity statements work well if people already want to be consistent with that image.
How Identity in Persuasion Does and Doesn’t Work:
Identity in persuasion does work like this:
a) Imagine you tell a child how tidy they are to encourage them to clear their room up, increasing the intention to tidy up after themselves. The intention to act is strengthened by how the child wants to see themselves.
⬆️This is upstream use of identity. It encourages action without being preachy or pushy, as long as you know that’s how the child wants to see themselves.
Identity in persuasion doesn’t work like this:
b) A child decides to clean up after themselves. They do this before being told what a tidy person they are. Identity did not trigger the behaviour as the intention to act was already there.
⬇️This is downstream use of identity. It makes no difference to the action being done as the action has aleady been completed. Is it useful then? Yes, using identity in this way still has a function: it’s an example of positive reinforcement, used to cement desired behaviour so that you increase the likelihood of it happening again.
Do you want to Incite Action or do you want them to Guilt-Trip?
I’m not judging. You may want to do either.
You can use identity for both inspiring action and asking someone to justify why they didn’t do something. The difference is based on where you state the identity:
- ⬆️Upstream – ‘you’re the sort of person who does this’ = You state identity first, then the required action before the action is carried out. This invites action.
- ⬇️Downstream One – ‘prove yourself’ = You state action first, then name the identity before they act. You’re challenging them.
- ⬇️Downstream Two – ‘justify the inconsistency’ = You state Action first, action isn’t carried out, then you state identity. You’re calling them to account.
Downstream use of identity to influence can provoke change but also defensiveness, depending on tone and relationship.
Compare:
| ⬆️Upstream | “You’re always reliable. I’d love your help.” → You state identity first, requested action follows. Invites action. |
| ⬇️Downstream One | “You said you’d help. Show you’re reliable.” → You state action first, naming the identity before they act. Says, “Prove yourself.” |
| ⬇️Downstream Two | “You said you’d help. You didn’t. I thought you were reliable.” → State Action first, action isn’t carried out, then you state identity. Says, “You let me down. How are you the person you think you are?”
|
| ⬇️Downstream Three | “You helped. That’s because you’re reliable.”→ State Action first, action is carried out, then you state identity. Encourages more of the action in the future. |
Four Ways to Use Identity to Influence and Persuade
People don’t change because you gave them better information. They change when their self-image is either:
- Affirmed (“This aligns with who I am.”)
- Challenged (“This threatens who I think I am.”)
- Invited (“This could be who I become.”)
- Disrupt (“I need to change who I think I am”)
Four Identity-Based Influence Moves
| Move | Example Statement | What It Does |
| Affirm | “You’ve always been someone who thinks ahead. That’s why this matters.” | Reinforces their self-concept |
| Challenge | “You say you value originality—but this feels like playing it safe.” | Creates tension with their self-image |
| Invite | “This is for people who want to lead the next wave—not just follow the last one.” | Offers a new, aspirational identity |
| Disrupt | “If you’re still clinging to being the ‘safe pair of hands,’ you’ll miss what’s next.” | Undermines a limiting or outdated identity |
Your Actions:
- Ensure that identity is consistent with a desired self-image
- Use identity to reinforce behaviour – before they act, not after [upstream not downstream], unless for positive reinforcement or guilt-tripping (if that’s how you lean…)
- Use identity in any of the four ways in the table.
What specific ways have you used identity to reinforce behaviour or change it? Let me know in the comments!
Looking to become a Communication Ninja? If you need to win over others, give yourself more opportunities or drive action, influence and persuasion skills training to see how I work with technical specialists.
Get in touch with me here to see how you – or your people – can become less vanilla and more THRILLER.
Leave a Reply