How to Get People to Say ‘Yes’: The Influence Technique That Shouldn’t Work, But Does

Sometimes, it would be easier to scratch your armpit with your nose than steer the behaviour of others. Fortunately, there’s a science-backed technique that does the heavy lifting for you: no contortions required: just a small adjustment in your communication skills that makes a significant difference to whether people agree to carry out action for you.

It’s called the Small Yes to Big Yes. This is a persuasion method rooted in behavioural psychology that makes people significantly more likely to agree to a larger request once they’ve already committed to a smaller one.

What Is the Small Yes to Big Yes Technique?

The Small Yes to Big Yes is a commitment and consistency technique drawn from Robert Cialdini’s landmark book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. The principle is straightforward: when someone says yes to a small, low-stakes request, they’re psychologically primed to say yes to a bigger one later.

Why? Because people want to appear consistent with their own stated positions. Once they’ve committed – even to something minor – they’re motivated to follow through in ways that match that initial agreement.

Three Real-World Examples (With Results)

1. The Restaurant That Slashed Its No-Shows

Gordon’s restaurant in Chicago was struggling with a 30% no-show rate. Their receptionist would tell customers: “Please call us if you change your plans.” People didn’t call. They didn’t show up.

A simple tweak changed everything. The receptionist started asking a question instead: “Will you please call us if you change your plans?”, then pausing to wait for a yes.

That single reframe of statement to question – that switch from passive to active – dropped the no-show rate from 30% to 10%.

2. The Charity That Got 700% More Volunteers

The American Cancer Society needed volunteers to spend three hours collecting door-to-door donations. Rather than making the full ask upfront, they called members of the public to ask only whether they’d consider helping and whether they’d be happy to be called back.

That was the small yes.

Months later, when those same people were phoned again and reminded of their earlier response, the uptake was enormous. Volunteer numbers increased by 700%.

3. The Hotel That Increased Towel Reuse by 40%

A 2013 study, published in the Journal of Social Psychology, looked at whether a small upfront commitment could shift guest behaviour around towel reuse. Guests were asked to read a statement about the hotel’s environmental goals, then sign a card committing to reuse towels during their stay. They were given a small lapel pin as a physical reminder of that commitment.

The result: a 40% increase in towels being rehung.

The Critical Second Step: Reminding People of Their Yes

Two of those three examples share a key ingredient – the reminder: the lapel pin, the follow-up call.

People want to act consistently with commitments they’ve made, but they need a prompt. So the technique has two parts:

1. Elicit the small yes – ask for something low-effort and low-stakes first
2. Remind them of it – before making the bigger ask, reference their earlier commitment

If it’s in writing, even better. Reference the email. It’s not manipulative: it’s good psychology.

How to Use the Small Yes to Big Yes at Work

The technique in persuasion works in everything from team collaboration to sales to fundraising. Here’s what a small yes might look like in a professional context:

• Asking someone if they’d consider being involved in a project before you ask them to join it.
• Getting a verbal yes to a question rather than issuing a command or making a statement.
• Asking someone to share a resource, make an introduction, or sign up to something where the commitment is low.
• On a cold call, confirming something simple: “I see you led product design at Shopify for five years. Is that right?” That’s a yes, and it opens the door

Some asks that feel large, such as asking for an introduction, can be preceded by a note with a LinkedIn connection request. Even better, ask someone who’s already benefited from your posts, rather than asking a stranger out of the blue (see the next section).

One Rule: Don’t Be a Piss-Taker

This communication technique works because trust is already present. The hotel guests had already booked a room. The American Cancer Society was calling its own supporters. A relationship – even a transactional one – existed first.

Use this on someone who doesn’t know you, and you’ll come across as a leech rather than a persuader.

The Small Yes to Big Yes also pairs well with reciprocity: give something before you ask. If you want an introduction, offer one first. Then make your bigger ask. That combination is hard to say no to.

Your Action Steps

1. Identify something you need help with from another person
2. Work out what the smallest possible first ask looks like — something easy to say yes to
3. Make that ask, wait for the yes, then follow up later with the bigger request
4. When you do, remind them of what they agreed to the first time

Not sure what your small yes should be in your specific situation? Drop it in the comments — I’ll get stuck in.

Want your teams to be better at influencing, getting buy-in, and making things happen? Book a free 15-minute Discovery session or explore your options here.

This post was originally published in October 2020 and completely updated in June 2026

Photo by HI! Estudio on Unsplash.com