The Parrot Technique: A Simple Communication Tool to Connect, Challenge and Build Trust at Work

Got a difficult conversation at work?  We’ve all had them and they don’t look likely to stop. Here’s a technique that seems so simple that you’d wonder if this could really be true: repeating back what you hear: a technique that will benefit your communication skills in several ways.

Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, popularised a simple but wildly effective tool: parroting: repeating one to three words of what someone has just said.

In my work with tech specialists across the UK and beyond, this technique consistently helps people become clearer, calmer and more compelling. And although it’s simple, it’s underused.

Behavioural scientist, Rick van Barren, found that repetition won favour. In a series of experiments around communication that he conducted amongst waiters, he discovered they increased their tips increased by 68%: simply by repeating back orders. This simple communication technique gives others the sense of being heard and understood. Customers feel more assured their order is correct.

The technique of parroting works well beyond restaurants and it’s effects stretch to outcomes other than the feeling of being heard.

Below are the three situations where parroting becomes a strategic advantage, whether you’re negotiating, being challenged, or speaking spontaneously in a high‑pressure moment.

1. Negotiation: Get people to reveal what actually matters

Repeating one to three key word encourages the other person to expand on what they’ve said – and maybe, even gently questions their own proposition.  It doesn’t have to be the very last one to three words just spoken but the one word – or three – that matter.

Why this works in negotiation:

• People feel heard, so they keep talking
• They reveal motivations, constraints and priorities
• You gain insight without pushing or interrogating
• They question their own proposition when you reflect it back to them.

For tech professionals negotiating scope, timelines or resources, this is gold. It keeps the conversation open rather than adversarial.

Example:

Them: “We just don’t have the capacity for that right now.”

You: “Don’t have the capacity?”

Them: “Well, the mobile team is tied up until July, but the web team could take a slice of it.”

If you want more ways to negotiate without sounding pushy or defensive, here are three key techniques that hostage negotiators use and they even work in tech environments . These techniques keep the conversation collaborative rather than combative.

2. When you’re challenged: Defuse without becoming defensive

If someone makes an accusation, such as: “You never update the documentation”, parroting a single word – in this case “Never?” forces them to clarify.

This does three things:

• It slows the emotional temperature
• It makes the other person examine their own exaggeration
• It gives you space to respond with facts rather than fluster

This is especially useful in cross‑functional teams where misunderstandings spread quickly and tone can escalate.

Example:

Them: “You ignored the request.”

You: “Ignored?”

Them: “Well… I sent it late Friday, so you probably didn’t see it.”

Parroting is also one of the simplest ways to sound composed under pressure and if you want to go deeper, this article on communicating with authority at work: without feeling like a fraud. You’ll see how to project calm credibility even when the stakes are high.

3. When you need time to think: The simplest way to buy a moment

Whether you’re presenting, being put on the spot in a meeting, or someone collars you in the corridor, repeating the question signals that you’ve heard them, while giving your brain a few seconds to catch up.

Example:

Them: “How will this impact Q3 delivery?”

You: “How will it impact Q3 delivery…”

Your brain: Thank you for the extra three seconds.

Often, they’ll rephrase the question, which gives you even more clarity and time.

If spontaneous speaking is something you’d like to feel more confident with, you’ll find more practical tools in my piece on how to speak off the cuff without rambling . These are especially useful for Q&A sessions and those corridor‑ambush questions.

Why the Parrot Technique Works (and why it’s so underused)

Parroting works because it taps into a universal human need: to feel heard. It’s subtle, non‑confrontational and incredibly efficient, especially in fast‑moving tech environments where clarity is a must. Actions don’t happen on the basis of waffle or fuzziness.

Yet most people avoid repetition because they fear sounding odd or simplistic. Used sparingly and intentionally, it does the opposite: it makes you sound composed, attentive and in control.

Want to communicate with more clarity, confidence and authority?

If you want to become a Communication Ninja: someone who can negotiate, respond under pressure and handle challenges with ease, this is one of the simplest tools to start with. Here are a bunch of other techniques that can make you indelible and incredible. Want to push your communication along faster?  Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call with me here.

Photo by Ilona Frey on Unsplash

Original post written in May 2023 an updated in May 2026